I have been noticing a rather disturbing trend of late. It seems that more and more, stores are hiring zombies instead of people. Sure they look like teenagers, but in dealing with them and their blank stares and monosyllabic answers I am starting to wonder if they aren't in fact an army of the dead. If they are in fact living breathing humans, and they should stumble across this post on their way to downloading music or catching the latest funny video posting, I figured I would put down some points that I think could use noting.
First off, I am required by law to pay for goods that I wish to leave the store with. I know that this is a wacky concept, but as silly as it is I will abide by it. So to that end, I must come to your register. At this point I usually like to engage in just a small amount of pleasantry, nothing crazy, just "hello" with perhaps a smattering of eye contact. I realize that you may in fact hate your job, but as I am not the one who put you there or made up these crazy laws requiring payment for goods and services, please don't look at me as though my very existence is a blight on your day. You're being paid to be there. I am not saying you have to even ask me about my day, heaven forbid, but at the very least be courteous. Look me in the eye, say hello, and when we're done tell me to have a nice day. That's 5 words total... I know you have it in you, I have faith in you.
Next up, along the lines of the preceding point, if I am standing in front of you, goods in hand please stop discussing the latest store gossip with your coworkers. Like Oh My God, I can't believe she did that, like I totally told her not to, but she totally did. Besides the fact that you are butchering the English language, I really don't care what she did. I also feel that you will get me out of the store a lot more quickly if you are, I don't know, paying attention. Also in this respect, please get off your cell phone. Yes I realize your weekend plans are the reason for your very being, but again, I don't really care. If I have a question I can't ask it because I feel like I'm being rude. Don't tell the person to hold on and then put your cell next to you to pick it up the moment I've walked away, by doing that you make me feel as though you are rushing me. I don't want to be rushed. I am spending money in the store that employs you, my money goes in part to your salary.
If you are an aisle walker. Please be aware that you are still an employee, and therefore there is a good chance I'm going to ask you, gasp, a question. If I've spent the last 20 minutes wandering the aisles in hopes of locating that one specific item that I so desperately need to complete my scavenger hunt of a shopping expedition, I have to ask you where it is. Answering my query with a heavy sigh and a shrug of your shoulders doesn't really help me. Chances are I wasted that 20 minutes of my life in the hopes of avoiding this very moment only to have it realized and smack me in the face. If you don't know, find someone that does without the heavy breath expultion. I really don't want to know what it is that you had for breakfast that morning.
If I ask you a question about my receipt such as why that candy bar cost me $400.00, please don't take immediate offense to it. I am not casting doubt on your intelligence as a whole. We are all human and mistakes happen. I would simply not like to have to pay 400 times the value of said chocolate bar. Please understand I love chocolate as much as the next person, but unless it has the Golden Ticket in it and I am going to inherit a candy factory from an eccentric candy maker, I really don't want to pay that kind of money. Please try to refrain from getting angry and defensive and simply address my concern. Chances are we can come to a resolution quickly and amicably without coming to verbal or physical blows.
Lastly, if I am purchasing an item of a personal nature, such as stomach medication, please don't point it out in any way shape or form. I really don't care what your 108 year old grandmother did to help you get through your bout of dysentery. Nor do I care about what the stomach virus you just got over did to the frequency of your bowel movements. Just ring up my item and let me be on my way. Similarly, if I ask you "how's your day", I don't actually want the answer. It's a pleasantry. I am being polite, I don't actually want to know about the fact that your teacher hates you, your boyfriend/girlfriend is a jerk, that your dog ran away or insert any other country song lyric here.
These are just a few things I've been noticing more and more frequently. Are there others, I'm sure, but I don't have that kind of time and the rest may not be worth mentioning at the moment. Basically long story short, just treat your customers like humans and I am sure for the most part, they will return the favor.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
You've Been Serv-iced!
Having been a customer service type position for more than half my life, I feel that there are certain things that customers should be, we’ll say mindful of, when dealing with people in customer service.
I understand that, as a customer you deserve the utmost attention and care and to this end, I can’t agree more. However, I believe that many people forget that the person on the other end of the phone is in fact, a person.
Here are a few tips to make your experience and the experience of the person just trying to do their job a wee bit better.
Please refrain from eating on the phone. I am sure that week old lasagna that you just nuked is absolutely fantastic and suddenly after a week you can’t wait to eat it, but I personally don’t wish to hear any part of your digestive process. If you are about to make a call from which you hope to glean some information, then doing so without a mouthful of half eaten food is probably the better way to go. Not to mention the fact that certain sounds required for forming a word are rather hard to accomplish with a wad of food stuck in your mouth. Go ahead, try it… eat some crackers and make an “s” sound. Just do it away from people.
In this fast paced world of multi tasking, pottying while on the phone is still one of those things that should be done in the peaceful sanctity of a bathroom without the presence of your cell phone. If you make a call whilst you take a tinkle, please be aware, we can hear you. Your urethra is most likely not equipped with a mute button and, as far as I’m aware, most toilets have yet to come with an optional stealth mode. If you’re taking a bath, enjoy the relaxation of some quality “you” time and don’t use that time to discuss the mysterious .45 cent charge on your phone bill.
If you happen to be driving, which is a little scary, please roll up your window and turn the radio down. When you are cruising along the highway at a crisp 60 miles an hour and the wind is breezing through the window and playing with your hair, please note that it is also blowing through the mouth piece of your phone at that same 60 mile an hour pace and thusly making the service rep you are talking to, deaf. Also note: that if your radio is so loud that you didn’t just hear that ambulance with its siren wailing as it passed you, we probably can’t hear you either. If you happen to just be sitting in the car with the door open, please remove your keys from the ignition. What happens here is, that really annoying ding ding ding that your car makes to make you aware that your keys are still in there goes through this odd transformation as it passes through your cell phone, through the phone lines and out the other end into someone’s ear. It goes up by about 30 decibels, rendering your service rep highly irritated.
I totally understand that sometimes the company you are dealing with has pissed you off in such a way that words can escape you. However, replacing these words with curses strung together in a way that would make a truck driver blush is really not the best way to get your point across. Chances are the person you got on the phone has NO idea why you were calling until you tell us. Give us the benefit of the doubt and the time to try and make it right. If, in the end, you still aren’t getting the answer you are looking for, ask to speak to a manager. The rep has probably done all that was in their power to do, and quite frankly managers make more money than we do.
Lastly, if you are speaking with us, speak to us. Information comes across so much more clearly if you aren’t speaking to your cousin from out of town and yelling at your dog who has messed in the corner for the 3rd time today. For the 5 minutes you’re on the phone, just leave the room. I’m sure there is one place in your house that is quiet and is doggy poo free.
These are just the more annoying issues that have come up over the years. I feel that these items extend to not just dealing with customer service people, but quite frankly are just good phone etiquette. It goes back to one simple rule, do unto other as you would have done unto you. More over, just treat people like people, and I am willing to bet your results will be much better.
I understand that, as a customer you deserve the utmost attention and care and to this end, I can’t agree more. However, I believe that many people forget that the person on the other end of the phone is in fact, a person.
Here are a few tips to make your experience and the experience of the person just trying to do their job a wee bit better.
Please refrain from eating on the phone. I am sure that week old lasagna that you just nuked is absolutely fantastic and suddenly after a week you can’t wait to eat it, but I personally don’t wish to hear any part of your digestive process. If you are about to make a call from which you hope to glean some information, then doing so without a mouthful of half eaten food is probably the better way to go. Not to mention the fact that certain sounds required for forming a word are rather hard to accomplish with a wad of food stuck in your mouth. Go ahead, try it… eat some crackers and make an “s” sound. Just do it away from people.
In this fast paced world of multi tasking, pottying while on the phone is still one of those things that should be done in the peaceful sanctity of a bathroom without the presence of your cell phone. If you make a call whilst you take a tinkle, please be aware, we can hear you. Your urethra is most likely not equipped with a mute button and, as far as I’m aware, most toilets have yet to come with an optional stealth mode. If you’re taking a bath, enjoy the relaxation of some quality “you” time and don’t use that time to discuss the mysterious .45 cent charge on your phone bill.
If you happen to be driving, which is a little scary, please roll up your window and turn the radio down. When you are cruising along the highway at a crisp 60 miles an hour and the wind is breezing through the window and playing with your hair, please note that it is also blowing through the mouth piece of your phone at that same 60 mile an hour pace and thusly making the service rep you are talking to, deaf. Also note: that if your radio is so loud that you didn’t just hear that ambulance with its siren wailing as it passed you, we probably can’t hear you either. If you happen to just be sitting in the car with the door open, please remove your keys from the ignition. What happens here is, that really annoying ding ding ding that your car makes to make you aware that your keys are still in there goes through this odd transformation as it passes through your cell phone, through the phone lines and out the other end into someone’s ear. It goes up by about 30 decibels, rendering your service rep highly irritated.
I totally understand that sometimes the company you are dealing with has pissed you off in such a way that words can escape you. However, replacing these words with curses strung together in a way that would make a truck driver blush is really not the best way to get your point across. Chances are the person you got on the phone has NO idea why you were calling until you tell us. Give us the benefit of the doubt and the time to try and make it right. If, in the end, you still aren’t getting the answer you are looking for, ask to speak to a manager. The rep has probably done all that was in their power to do, and quite frankly managers make more money than we do.
Lastly, if you are speaking with us, speak to us. Information comes across so much more clearly if you aren’t speaking to your cousin from out of town and yelling at your dog who has messed in the corner for the 3rd time today. For the 5 minutes you’re on the phone, just leave the room. I’m sure there is one place in your house that is quiet and is doggy poo free.
These are just the more annoying issues that have come up over the years. I feel that these items extend to not just dealing with customer service people, but quite frankly are just good phone etiquette. It goes back to one simple rule, do unto other as you would have done unto you. More over, just treat people like people, and I am willing to bet your results will be much better.
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